Some Initial Thoughts
No two victims react to sexual assault in
exactly the same way. Feelings can range from anger, frustration, fear, shame and guilt to
numbness. These are all normal feelings.
Demands placed on you to make important medical and legal decisions, only a short time
after the crime, may intensify these feelings.
No one can tell you how you should feel. Each woman goes through a rape experience in her
own unique way. The truth is, there is no way to answer the question, How should I be
feeling right now? Whatever you feel, it is right for you.
Many people believe a rape victim should be crying and somewhat hysterical following the
assault. Though that may be how you reacted, not all women do. Some women find themselves
feeling quite calm. While these reactions are very different, there is nothing abnormal
about either one, or the combination of the two.
Even the most well-meaning, supportive family and friends may not comprehend the situation
or your emotional state right away.
While family, friends and even you may wish to review the crime to determine how it might
have been prevented-this can be an unnecessary and painful experience. Remember, it you
are alive, you did something right! Rape can and does happen to anyone.
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Ongoing Effect
Rape is a disruptive experience that may
have a short or long term effect on your life. Some women react to rape by wanting to
withdraw. In the long run, this may not be helpful. Talking about the experience and your
resulting feelings with family, close friends or a counselor may hasten your recovery.
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Some Natural Reactions
Women who have been raped express a wide
range of feelings as they begin to deal with the after-effects of the rape. These feelings
range from helplessness, fear, humiliation and embarrassment to anger, revenge and
self-blame. Women often react to the violent aspects of the rape as well as the sexual
aspects. Some women develop new fears after being raped. Examples of these are fear of
being outdoors, indoors, alone or in crowds. Other fears can manifest themselves in hasty
decisions to move, quit school or work, or change jobs.
Additional reactions to being raped include problems with sleeping. Some women report
vivid dreams or nightmares; others report difficulty in falling or remaining asleep.
Many women experience a crisis in their sexual life as a result of the rape. You may find
that your normal sexual behavior is disrupted. Some women experience difficulty in
expressing and receiving affection. These reactions are usually temporary.
All of your emotions and reactions which appear abnormal to you may make you question
whether you are going crazy. YOU ARE NOT. You are experiencing a crisis reaction to being
raped. However, many of these feelings are quite uncomfortable; you may want to speak with
a counselor about them.
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Impact on Family and Friends
Although you are the rape victim, you may
find that your husband, boyfriend, family or friends have a difficult time adjusting.
Counseling often helps to define problem areas and assist in the resolution of the
problem. You may want to call the Women's Coalition for counseling referrals.
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The assault and its aftermath can be
disruptive to the victim's lifestyle in many ways. A crisis period may extend for several
months or may recur years later. Sexual assault victims often find it helpful to talk over
their concerns with a counselor during these times. Counseling is available through the
Department of Mental Health at the victim's and/or family's request. They can be reached
at 773-1311. You can also call the Women's Coalition of St. Croix at 773-9272
for a list of referrals to private therapists.
The Women's Coalition would like to be of assistance to you in any way. Please do not
hesitate to contact the Women's Coalition Office, at 773-9272 or 773-WCSC or your
advocate.
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